A Map of the World
Posted by: tsitser on: September 25, 2011
- In: Commentary | Education | Learning | Nature of Reality | Self-Discovery
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”We don’t see the world the way it is. We see it the way we are.
Talmud
As small children we decide what is real based on what we learn from our parents, teachers and from the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Those lessons transform in our minds to become what we perceive to be facts. Those “facts” become a map in our consciousness that guides us through future decisions.
The problems begin when circumstances change and the map in our head remains the same. We begin to act on our assumptions about reality rather than on what actually exists.
When results don’t match our expectations it’s time to re-evaluate the map.
If you find yourself bumping into walls stop and take a fresh look around. You may find the route you’ve been traveling is no longer there. You might also find new doors in what use to be solid walls.
Don’t go through life with an outdated map. You’ll miss a lot of great scenery.
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An Indelible Image of Courage and Hope in the Face of Hate
Posted by: tsitser on: August 27, 2011
“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it begets more violence. With violence, you can murder the hater but you just increase the hate. Hate cannot drive out hate. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that; only love can drive out hate.”
– The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
With the unprecedented emergence of civil unrest around the world images of massive, coordinated efforts by diverse populations gathering in the streets to make themselves heard by the powers-that-be have been presented to us by the media as never before. These efforts have been met by governmental violence and suppression of civilian rights in shocking ways.
I chanced upon the following story this morning and was stunned by the simple beauty and courage of this response to violence and hate.
In 1992 an artillery shell killed twenty-two innocent civilians standing in a bread line in Sarajevo, Bosnia. Vedran Smailovic, a former principal cellist for the Sarajevo Opera, responded by donning his tuxedo, bringing his instrument to the bomb site and performing alone for the next twenty-two days as the shelling continued. Twenty two days, amid shrapnel and sniper fire, Smailovic played; one day for each of the twenty-two friends and neighbors who had been killed.
http://myhero.com/go/hero.asp?hero=vedrans
In 1997, after hearing this story, 10-year-old Jason Crowe, was moved to action. He is working to create a tribute to the spirit of the Bosnian people in the form of the Children’s International Peace & Harmony Statue, to be shipped to Bosnia as a gift from peace-loving people around the world, especially children.
“We will inherit the new millennium and we must voice our desire for peace and show the world we are willing to work for it. The statue itself will be our voice giving us a way to shout, ‘Never again must mean never again’.
The Children’s International Peace and Harmony Statue will depict and honor: 1. The spirit of all Bosnians who have lived through or died in the madness of ethnic cleansing; 2. The spirit of harmony that cries on like a lone cello in a world full of violence which refuses to listen; and 3. The spirit of children around the world who want peace and harmony, not war and genocide, as their legacy in the new millennium.
For more information or to support Jason’s project go to:
A Familiar Saying That Is Just Wrong!
Posted by: tsitser on: July 9, 2011
- In: Commentary | Education | Learning | Nature of Reality | Self-Discovery
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“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”
Actually – not true. This one phrase has been said so many times by so many people for so long that most people accept it without thinking.
Here’s the thing: YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO AN OPINION ON A SUBJECT ABOUT WHICH YOU KNOW NOTHING !!
If a patient is about to have brain surgery you are NOT entitled to an opinion on which technique ought to be used unless you are a brain surgeon. If your pet dog is chewing up the furniture you are not entitled to an opinion on why he is
behaving this way unless you are well versed in canine behavior. If the political pundits are arguing the merits of a proposed amendment to the Constitution you are not entitle to an opinion, pro or con, unless you study the facts, learn the history behind the amendment, research the possible consequences of it and understand the legislative process used.
I could come up with six more examples but you get the point. Here is the corrected version of this all-too-familiar but incomplete phrase:
Everyone is entitled to his own INFORMED opinion.
So the moral of the story is: Don’t feel compelled to throw out an opinion just because everybody else is spouting theirs. It is perfectly valid to say “I am not currently qualified to have an opinion on that subject. Let me do some research and I’ll get back to you.”
(With thanks to Harlan Ellison for the inspiration.)
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Exploration as a Way Forward
Posted by: tsitser on: June 29, 2011
- In: Commentary | Education | Learning | Nature of Reality | Self-Discovery
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This is an except from Tara’s upcoming book with co-author John Glass, “Speaking Truth: Words That Matter” which will be published later this year.
One of the most valuable sentences I have ever come across is this:
“Let me see what I can learn.”
When you feel resistance to doing something that you know you must do, say to yourself, “Let me see what I can learn.” If you are feeling bored and think there is nothing going on, look around and try this perspective on for size: “Let me see what I can learn”. If you find yourself procrastinating because you are afraid to face a task, tell yourself, “Let me see what I can learn.” Maybe there is a report
you need to read that you have been avoiding. Or you find yourself in a conversation with someone you don’t know well. Maybe you have to tackle doing something unfamiliar and are afraid you won’t do it well so you’d rather not try. Tell yourself, “Let me see what I can learn.”
This technique works especially well when other people are involved in the scenario. At a party or gathering of any kind if you find yourself seated next to someone you might not have chosen to speak with or who maybe doesn’t , at first glance, look like someone you wouldn’t find interesting, tell yourself this: “Let me see what I can learn.” (Everybody has a story. Try it. You’ll be surprised at the riches you’ll unearth!)
If someone asks you for information you don’t have just say, “Let me see what I can learn. I’ll get back to you.” Boy, oh boy! Do I wish all customer service personnel were taught to do just that!
This one sentence can help you push past your reluctance and fear. It opens up otherwise unseen avenues for exploration that will motivate you to plunge right in. Now you have a task in mind for yourself that will lead you forward in any situation. “Let me see what I can learn.”
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Respecting Experience
Posted by: tsitser on: June 8, 2011
- In: Commentary | Education | Learning | Nature of Reality | Self-Discovery
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“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Martin Vanbee
This little story came to mind today as I found myself, for the second time in two days, the lucky beneficiary of someone else’s experience.
A small village had a system of plumbing pipes that had, for many decades, been maintained by one man. Yacov had spent his years in the central control room learning the intricacies of the pipes and keeping the system running smoothly.
As is often the case, new technologies come along that interfere with the old ways.
One day the village elders came to Yacov’s house to inform him that they had decided to install a new, computerized system to run the town’s pipes. His services were no longer needed. Yacov smiled at them, accepted their decree and went back into his home to brew a pot of tea and enjoy the view of his garden.
Several days after the new system had been brought online the plumbing in the town failed. None of the technicians could figure out what was wrong. Nobody knew what to do. After a few days of listening to the townspeople’s complaints, the elders gathered at Yacov’s front door and begged him to please come fix the pipes.
With a small smile on his face and a glint of something in his eye, Yacov agreed.
Back in the control room the elders stood in silence watching Yacov as he stood very still for many minutes. He looked. He listened. Then he took a wrench in his hand walked over to a junction and tapped twice on the overhead pipe. Lo and behold! the system began to run again.
Later that day the village elders received a bill from Yacov charging them $2000.12 for his services. Outraged, they once again assembled at Yacov’s front door, this time shouting at him and asking how dare he charge them this enormous amount when all he did was to tap a couple of times on a pipe!
Yacov’s smile was wider than the village square as he said to them, “The 12 cents is for the tapping. The $2000.00 is for knowing where to tap!”
Beware the Dream Crushers
Posted by: tsitser on: June 5, 2011
“People who abandon their dreams will try to crush yours” — Anon
People often shy away from pursuing their dreams because they are afraid of the cost, afraid to fail or because it’s easier to take the safe route. Moving outside your comfort zone is such a daunting challenge that many people never go there.
It is an unfortunate fact of human nature that misery loves company. When those who have abandoned their dreams see someone who seems willing to take on the challenges and risks involved in pursuing a dream a common reaction is to discourage them or scoff at their chances of success.
We call them Dream Crushers.
Beware the Dream Crushers. They will tell you it can’t be done and all the reasons you shouldn’t try. You are the only one who can decide if you are willing to do what it takes to achieve your goals. Some temporary discomfort and instability is often well worth the price.
Life, Love and Passionate Choices
Posted by: tsitser on: May 10, 2011
This is an excerpt from Tara’s upcoming book Speaking Truth; Words that Matter co-author, John Glass. More details can be found at www.SpeakingTruthTheBook.com
“If you don’t have a plan for yourself you will end up being a part of someone else’s” –Jim Rohn
“It is much easier to act yourself into a way of feeling than to feel yourself into a way of acting.”
Many of us wonder what we are meant to be doing with our lives. We wait for some sort of emotional sign to tell us that we’ve found the right path in life. Some people do have a certainty about the direction they want to go. They are the lucky few who just know what their life is for. The rest of us search for our place in this world or just go along with the plans others have for us.
But we are given only so much time on this planet and we each have to decide how we want to spend that time.
Henry David Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
It is a common mistake to wait for the “right” feeling before you make a decision. That may happen. Or it may not, keeping you rooted in place while you wait for what may never come. Love, for instance, is all too commonly misunderstood as an emotional state. We want the fireworks and the “chemistry” to be the indication of who we should choose to be with. And when the emotional state changes or fluctuates we fear our love has died. But in fact, love is not an emotion. Love is a decision.
That’s a big left-turn from where most people sit so I’m going to say that again:
Love is not an emotion. Love is a decision. It’s a decision you make every day to act in someone else’s best interest. You don’t always feel the sparkle. That comes and goes. But you DECIDE that each day you will make the choices that support the well-being of your spouse, your children, your students, etc. We don’t always feel like cleaning up after a sick child. But we make the decision to do it because that is the logical extension of our love for them.
“Love is not a feeling. Love is the will to extend yourself for your own or another’s spiritual growth and well-being.” -Dr. M. Scott Peck
The same holds true for personal choices of career and lifestyle. Yes, there ought to be a balance between what your rational brain tells you needs to be done and the life choices that will affirm the spiritual and creative sides of your being. But those are also a product of your own understanding of who you are – an acknowledgement of the gifts you’ve been given. Not a surrender to an emotional state that may or may not have any connection to real world circumstances.
I knew a man who use to make decisions based on whatever popped into his mind first. He thought there must be something magical about that first thought because it came along with a feeling of discovery. That feeling trapped him into many foolish decisions and he continued to pay the price for his bad choices until he gave up the notion that it always has to “feel” right.
It all comes down to deciding what’s really important for you to accomplish before you die. Picture yourself on your deathbed looking back at the course of your life. What will you wish you had done with the time you were given here? I don’t mean take a cruise to Greece or play the harp. I’m talking about the activities that connect us to our communities. Things we can do that make the world a little better place to be. When you define what that is and decide to act on it then you will know you’ve found your path. And the better choices seem to be those that involve us in something larger than ourselves.
Another reason many of us don’t see our way clearly is the fear that we will be making the wrong choice. But there are very few choices that are so irrevocable that we cannot change our minds and say, “Well, I tried that and it wasn’t right. I’ll try something else now.” It is not unusual to reinvent yourself over and over as you grow and learn and change.
You only have one life. Figure out what is most important to you and you’ll know how you want to spend the time you’ve been given.
“The choice may have been wrong but the choosing was not.”
-Stephen Sondheim“Where your talents and the world’s needs intersect, there lies your vocation.” -Barbara J. Winter
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True Public Service
Posted by: tsitser on: April 9, 2011
- In: Commentary | Giving | History | Nature of Reality | Politics | Public Service
- 2 Comments
Image via Wikipedia
George Bernard Shaw (26 July 1856 – 2 November 1950) was a playwright, journalist, public speaker and champion of the working class. He wrote more than 60 plays in his lifetime and was the only person to have been awarded both a Nobel Prize for Literature (1925) and an Oscar (1938), for his contributions to literature and for his work on the film Pygmalion (adaptation of his play of the same name).
Many of us may be surprised to learn that he was also a co-founder of the London School of Economics. No slouch he.
In stark contrast to the attitudes of so many of our currently elected officials, here is his statement about public service:
“This is the true joy of life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live.
Life is no “brief candle” to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
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An Active Remembrance
Posted by: tsitser on: March 19, 2011
- In: Commentary | History | Unions
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With the 100th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire coming up next Friday the Progressive Jewish Alliance has put together some materials that commemorate this tragic event and invites you to discover your own connection to a dark chapter in our country’s history. A very familiar Jewish perspective says “Those who do not remember history are bound to repeat it.” In light of the recent attempt to strip the American worker of the protections of Union membership, collective bargaining rights, etc., the timeline, history, poetry and writings of the survivors seem particularly timely.
tsitser
The Unknown Hero and the Stubborn Dragon
Posted by: tsitser on: May 14, 2012
John and his wife, Judy Glass, are well-known in the progressive community in Los Angeles. They are, and she will still be, staunch supporters of organizations that work for peace and social justice. John’s central cause for the past handful of years was the single-payer health care movement. He believed that health care is a right, not a privileged, and should be available to everyone without the constraints of a particular employer or the limitations of insurance companies dictating what doctors can provide based on their own self-serving priorities.
I have known John for almost 40 years. He was a giver from the word “go” and never stopped focusing on making the world a better place for us all. Throughout his career John was a sociologist, a professor, a volunteer coordinator for non-profit organizations, a therapist, a published author and a friend to the working man. Every choice he made was in the service of others and with the true intention of helping and healing the world and the human heart.
Talk to anyone who knew John and practically the first thing they will recall is his enthusiasm about the social causes and political candidates he supported. He always carried fliers with him for whatever rally or event was coming up and would invariably offer the fliers to whoever was within earshot with a bold statement encouraging his audience to attend. Show up! Make your voice heard! Make a difference!
John died Tuesday night, May 8, 2012, at he age of 76, after a week-long battle with pneumonia and a lifetime battle against the dragons that seek to diminish the individual spirit. He will be missed by many and our work to regain the dignity of the common man will be made harder for his absence.
Of all the responses we received to our announcement of John’s death this was the one that hit me the hardest and is, I believe, the perfect statement of how John’s life affected the world in which he lived:
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